Storm Informs

She’s back!

After the debut of a truly awful promotional photo of what Wonder Woman was going to look like on the upcoming NBC television series based upon the legendary superhero, comic book fans around the world united in their frustration over such a stupid costume and it appears as if producers of the show have heard their cries.

Somewhere, right now, a stripper is laughing.

As a result of the fan uproar, the producers of the show immediately updated the costume in order to address the negative response the initial promo pic received, however, instead of making it better, they simply made it equally crappy, albeit it several different ways.

Here are 4 reasons why the new updated Wonder Woman costume is still terrible:

1)     WONDER WOMAN DOESN’T WEAR PANTS

Recently in the comic books DC decided to give Wonder Woman a makeover by putting her in some pants.  Needless to say, this move didn’t go over too well with long time comic fans, but hey, at least it wasn’t as dumb a move as when they ditched Superman’s cape and tights in favour of turning him electric blue.

Jerry Siegel and Joel Schuster would have lost their shit.

As a result of the fan outcry, DC is now returning Wonder Woman to her original costume.

The producers of the upcoming TV show, however, thought that the problem with their Wonder Woman costume must have been the idiotic neon blue colour of the Amazon warrior’s pants, and decided to rectify the problem by going with what looks like either some type of spandex or stretchy denim.

Stitch some gold stars along her thigh as well and it’s problem solved, right?

Wrong.

Look, let’s face it — Wonder Woman’s costume is ridiculous and impractical.  Always has been.  The nature of her character is so much more fantastical than someone like Batman that you simply cannot adapt her costume for live action with the same gritty realism like Christopher Nolan has recently done with his take on the caped crusader.

With the exception of this costume.

A successful Wonder Woman project needs to embrace the absurdity of the fact she fights super villains while wearing star-spangled underwear.  People aren’t going to tune out because of that.  Hell, people are going to tune in just to see some booty, especially since Lynda Carter used to rock her short shorts in an old school granny panties kind of way.

You’re not really a superhero if a girdle is part of your outfit.

2)     SHINY RED VINYL MAKES BEING STEALTHY DIFFICULT

Even if you could get on board with Wonder Woman’s pants, there’s still the fact that producers of the TV show seem to think there’s nothing wrong with her top as they didn’t change it.  I mean, seriously, look at that thing.  It’s like someone dipped a corset in vinyl, traced an eagle emblem off a mudflap and slapped it on Wonder Woman’s chest.

Also, you can’t tell me that top doesn’t chafe like a mother.

With all the people involved in a project like this, how is it no one has spoken up that the fabric of Wonder Woman’s top and pants clash like crazy and make the entire outfit look just plain awful?

Not to mention the fact that the material must be squeaky as hell and is not exactly flattering for Adrianne Palicki. Then again, there is so much wrong with this costume it would be hard for Angelina Jolie to look good if she wore it.

3)     FLAT HEELED BOOTS

Although the producers of the upcoming show made a smart move by replacing Wonder Woman’s blue boots (who even came up with something so stupid anyway?) with her traditional red ones, they still found a way to screw it up by giving the new boots flat heels.

If you only look from the knee down then you’d think those are the boots of a gay cowboy.

Now, again, let’s face it — fighting crime in high heeled boots is both ridiculous and implausible.  But it’s also sexy as hell, and it’s what Wonder Woman has been doing for decades in the comics.

If an audience is willing to suspend its disbelief that a super powered Amazonian princes can fight crime with the help of a magic lasso and bullet proof bracelets, then I really don’t think tossing in a pair of high heeled boots is going to be a deal breaker.

4)     ATHLETICISM IS A FACTOR

I’m not trying to take a shot at Adrianne Palicki as I think she’s an attractive actress and all, but let’s face it, she does not embody the type of physicality Wonder Woman fans would traditionally expect in a live action adaptation.  In fact, the only thing Palicki really has going for her is her 5’11 height.

Now part of this isn’t her fault — unlike the numerous comic book feature film franchises being churned out right now, the producers of Wonder Woman barely gave Palicki any time to train before starting shooting.

Whereas Hugh Jackman, Chris Evans or even Robert Downey Jr. get months to work out exclusively with personal trainers before beginning production, Palicki was literally thrust into the role of the greatest female comic book heroine of all time without so much as a boot camp.

Instead of getting a buff and toned Linda Hamilton T2 style appearance, NBC’s Wonder Woman comes off looking less imposing and athletic.

I thought good coordination was a universal power among superheroes.

Not only is Wonder Woman supposed to be a phenomenal athlete and stunning beauty, but she also needs to come off as a tough, gritty warrior — one that can and has kicked the crap out of just about everybody.  Instead, the Wonder Woman in NBC’s upcoming television show looks more like a girl playing dress up than an actual ass-kicking Amazon.

Even the stink eye and an angry face can’t mask bad running form.

Because Wonder Woman’s costume is so revealing and impractical, any actress who takes on the role needs to be given time to train her body like an athlete would and develop the martial arts skills necessary for the role.

Only then will the character of Wonder Woman have been done justice, because quite frankly, the only way the silliness of her costume in live action can truly be negated is by having a physically impressive actress don the outfit.