Charlie Sheen is coming back to television this summer with a new show called Anger Management, loosely based on the Adam Sandler / Jack Nicholson movie.
Now is he still batshit crazy? Probably. A highly functioning addict? Most likely. But does he have more talent in his pinky finger than Ashton Kutcher does in his entire body? NO DOUBT.
Charlie never stripped naked and made lame dong jokes in a desperate plea for laughs.
The fact is that since Charlie Sheen left Two And A Half Men, the sitcom (which had already lost its edginess but still drew huge ratings) took a massive hit in terms of quality.
The original Two And A Half Men was a project intentionally developed around Sheen’s real life party-boy persona. The straight man / wild child dynamic of brothers Alan (Jon Cryer) and Charlie (Sheen) was intrinsic to the show, and it allowed the program to be — at its worst — watchable entertainment.
Ha! Straight guys naked together! Give me a f**king break.
Since Ashton Kutcher joined the show, Two And A Half Men has been brutally unfunny and painful to watch. A huge part of that has to do with the new structure of the sitcom, in which Kutcher plays a freakin’ billionaire whose biggest problems in life are that he’s well-endowed and sad over his divorce.
You’re filthy rich and have a big penis. Boo-hoo.
Not only is there zero reason to sympathize or emotionally invest in Kutcher’s Walden Schmidt, he also inexplicably lets Jon Cryer live with him after purchasing Sheen’s beach house and begins dating Zoey, a British woman who is quite possibly the single most annoying character in the history of television.
I’d rather put a cigarette out in my eye than have to listen to this squeaky pug-faced bitch talk.
And while Kutcher spent last year on screen cracking stale jokes and looking like a big walking talking dildo, Charlie Sheen was off the air quietly assembling a solid cast and crew for Anger Management.
Although it remains to be seen if the show will be any good, just seeing Sheen smirk at the camera and poke fun at his train wreck of a past with a 30 second TV spot is enough for me to give it a try.