Jack is back, baby!  After rumours last week teasing that it might happen, Fox officially announced the return of one of the greatest action heroes of all time.

As opposed to one of the worst action heroes of all time.

Jack Bauer is set to return in May 2014 in a 12 episode limited series entitled 24: Live Another Day.

That spineless weasel Logan is gonna shit his pants.

Greenlighting more 24 is pretty much a no brainer for Fox.  They have a long standing good relationship with star and executive producer Kiefer Sutherland (who’s now free and clear after his less-than-stellar drama Touch was cancelled), Homeland and former 24 exec producer Howard Gordon is keen to return, and despite producers best efforts a 24 movie was unable to get off the ground.

24 is a juggernaut of a franchise, and massively popularity across the globe.  With no film materializing, Fox was literally losing out on the tons of revenue that an iconic and beloved character like Jack Bauer can generate.  Sutherland himself has admitted Jack Bauer is the role of a lifetime, and since he’s only in his mid-forties, he’s still young enough to pull off playing a believable and hardcore badass.

Seriously, I would still watch the show even if all he did was sit around and knit.

However, the best thing of all to come out the announcement of 24: Live Another Day is the news that it’s going to be a 12 episode limited series.  Although it would have been exciting, the fact is a 2 hour Jack Bauer movie wouldn’t have allowed fans to spend a lot of time with one of their favourite characters.

On the other hand, even the most die-hard of 24 fans will admit the the limitations of the real-time format and demand for the show to have to crank out two dozen episodes per season always resulted in each series having “filler” eps that served more as weak connective tissue than riveting hours of television.

Never forget.

With a 12 hour format that can skip over hours here and there, 24: Live Another Day now has the freedom to move Jack Bauer around by car or plane off screen as well as a less demanding shooting schedule that gives the showrunners the ability to focus on quality over quantity.

The bottom line?  Get ready for 12 hours of non-stop balls-to-the-wall action and for Jack Bauer to kick ass, kill terrorists, and ask where the bomb is.  A lot.

It’s hard to believe, but 15 brand new episodes of Arrested Development are just weeks away.

The final countdown.

The fact that a show this brilliant and hilarious was able to come back from the dead is both amazing and awesome.  Even better, because all of season 4 is being released at the same time via Netflix, viewers will be able to enjoy the series the way it should be — by watching episodes back to back or even all at once.

Arrested Development was truly a sitcom ahead of its time, and is so rich with call backs and layered humour that the idea of waiting a week just to spend 22 minutes with the Bluths seems ridiculous now that fans have had years to sit down and marathon-watch what is arguably the funniest show ever made.

Oh chicken dances, how I’ve missed you.

The Netflix model of releasing entire seasons of shows all at once is a game changer, and with the success of House Of Cards — and resurrection and inevitable triumph of AD — there’s now even more proof that the best, most exciting and funniest visual storytelling is being done in television, not film.

HOLY.  CRAP.

As if my Friday wasn’t great enough with news that Parks & Recreation has been renewed and cacophonous vanity project and horrendous sitcom Whitney has been cancelled — now comes word that the Fox network is talks with Kiefer Sutherland about bringing back his counter-terrorism badass alter ego Jack Bauer to the small screen in a revived limited series of their former smash hit 24.

Heads will roll.  Or explode.  Or get impaled, hacksawed, riddled with bullets — you get the idea.

This is awesome.  Despite numerous attempts, getting a film in production proved to be an obstacle that 24 producers and Sutherland couldn’t get past, and with Sutherland’s recent show Touch just cancelled he’s now free and clear to revisit his most iconic role.

Jack Bauer has always been a larger than life character and over the eight seasons of 24 truly developed into an unbelievably hardcore badass action hero who seemed perfectly suited for a cinematic franchise.

There’s nothing more hardcore more than shooting an innocent lady in the leg during an interrogation.

I particularly love the idea of 24 being turned into a limited series, regardless of whether they keep the real time format or simply use less episodes to convey the events of a single day.

Hell, they could slash it in half and call the show 12 for all I care as long as one of television’s most groundbreaking characters starts kicking ass again and producers figure out a new way to explore Jack Bauer’s damaged psyche and continue to show the devastating toll his brutal heroics take on his soul.

And did I mention his kill count?  I mean, who doesn’t want to see Jack Bauer add to the list of 268 dead sons of bitches he killed over 9 days?

Dexter is fantastic.  The fact that for 7 seasons the showrunners have been able to not only make us care about a freakin’ serial killer, but also actively root for him, is truly a crowning achievement in TV history.

It also shows how modern day viewers are more savvy and open-minded, and will respond to atypical characters and stories that take risks and push boundaries, as opposed to the endless banal drivel that just keeps on recycling the same old tired tropes and predictable plot lines.

Ugh.

Despite a few epic misfires during its run, for the most part Dexter has provided exceptional storytelling.

And nothing says “misfire” better than an incest storyline.

Series 4 of Dexter in particular stands out as a near flawless season of television, with a large part of that of course due to the awesome John Lithgow’s chillingly complex performance as “The Trinity Killer.”

Go Lithgow Go Lithgow Go!

Part of the genius of the show has been how in every season Dexter has had to address a unique, rich and self-contained theme.

These themes serve not only as a narrative through line for each respective season, but they also increasingly challenge Dexter in his ongoing struggle to mask his secret life as a serial killer and spur significant personal growth and character development — essentially taking him from an empty, soulless compulsive murderer to a devoted, righteous family man who has developed real feelings and emotions.

There are also kill rooms.  A whole bunch of kill rooms.

The evolution of these thematic arcs has been both brilliant and organic.  Season 1 is about Dexter discovering his past, Season 2 about his secret life being in jeopardy, in Season 3 he forges a real friendship, in Season 4 he finds a mentor, in Season 5 he copes with actual grief, Season 6 causes him to question the nature of faith, and Season 7 is about him finding a soul mate and the consequences of love.

The entire show has been building toward something epic, and as teased in the trailer below,  it looks as if the theme for the final season may be that of embracing, or perhaps leaving behind, a legacy.

Dexter returns for the last time on June 30th, 2013.

Well, it only took 3 different actors, 5 movies and 35 years, but it looks like Superman fans are finally going to get the live-action depiction of the Man Of Steel they’ve been waiting for.

Let’s face it, despite an earnest performance by the late Christopher Reeve, the 4 films in which he starred as Superman don’t exactly hold up well over time.  I mean, his costume looks like pajamas, he plays Clark Kent as a bumbling buffoon, and the action sequences are lame at best.

Although it’s still pretty awesome when he turns evil and swills whiskey in Superman III. 

However, despite the inherent cheesiness of Christopher Reeve’s Superman movies, at least they can be justified as an unavoidable by-product of late seventies and early eighties filmmaking.  The cinematic travesty that is 2005′s Superman Returns, however, cannot.

The film, which is nothing more than a bloated, boring, self-indulgent, action-less love letter to the first two Superman films — and, groundbreaking as they may have been at the time, really aren’t that great — not only cheats Supes fans out of getting to see a kick-ass Kryptonian, but is also chock full of ham-fisted Christ and saviour metaphors and contains a “climax” in which Superman throws a giant rock into outer space.

Just f**king terrible.

Thankfully, the latest trailer for Man Of Steel already contains more action than the last five Superman films combined, complete with Superman getting attacked, smashing into stuff and punching shit.

About bloody time.

Whether or not Man Of Steel ends up being a great film remains to be seen, however, at least if nothing else we’re going to get to see Superman get his hands dirty and mix it up instead of blundering about as Clark Kent before flying into outer space, breaking the fourth wall and smiling like a schmuck at the camera.

No wonder Batman is considered infinitely cooler.

The success of The Hangover is a perfect example of everything that’s wrong with Hollywood — an original and legitimately funny film has surprising success which leads immediately to a blatant studio cash grab by prostituting what should have been a stand alone film and turning it into an unnecessary ”trilogy.”

Although it’s still better than a quadrilogy.

In the case of The Hangover, the first sequel is even more embarrassing in that they literally xeroxed the plot of the original film, complete with character black-outs and a time jump, with the only difference being that they set the film in Thailand instead of Las Vegas.

The filmmakers even awkwardly wedged in characters like Ken Jeong’s Chow and another Mike Tyson cameo in a pathetically clumsy attempt to duplicate the successful elements of the first film.

If only they gave the scene-stealing Chow a spin-off movie instead.

With The Hangover Part III set to be released in May, the only ray of hope that the film has any chance of redeeming this forced franchise comes in the fact that they have officially ditched the “skip time and piece together what happened the night before” narrative device in lieu of more traditional linear storytelling.

Plus more Heather Graham.  Never a bad thing.

It’s hard to believe Hugh Jackman is getting set to play the flawed and clawed superhero Wolverine for the sixth and seventh time in this summer’s stand alone X-men spinoff The Wolverine and in the recently announced X-Men: Days Of Future Past (assuming you count his brief appearance in X-men: First Class).

Best.  Cameo.  Ever.

The Wolverine in particular looks very promising, especially considering the film is using a classic comic book storyline that features Logan in Japan going up against deadly and ruthless samurai.

Factor in the inspired choice of director James Mangold and the fact that the filmmakers have gone on record that they’re trying to tell a grittier and less fantastical story, and you suddenly have the makings of what could turn out to  be a uniquely character driven superhero movie.

The film’s promotional campaign started off strong as well, with the release of a beautiful minimalist poster done in traditional Japanese brush painting style (complete with red seal on the lower left side) which was followed up with a stylish and foreboding motion poster.

Elegance.

Relevance.

Pretty great, right?  Which is why it’s so mind-boggling that today, as we edge closer to the film’s release, 20th Century Fox’s marketing department would release two new posters (one domestic, one international) that are flat out embarrassing and ruin everything the first two teaser posters were going for.

It’s like they photoshopped Wolverine into The Matrix.

Literally looks like it was made by a nerdy teenager on his computer.

I don’t know what the ass clowns at Fox were thinking, but let’s hope their obtuse sense of judgement ends here and that they kept their idiotic fingers off of what looks to be film worth getting excited for.

Marvel’s first post-Avengers Phase Two film Iron Man 3 is heading to the cinemas soon, and based upon the latest trailer, there’s a hell of a lot to look forward to.

Including a butt-load of flying metal dudes.

With the inspired hiring of director Shane Black (Lethal Weapon, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang), the fact the film is being marketed as a techno-thriller, and of course the incomparable Robert Downey Jr returning to the role of Tony Stark, Iron Man 3 looks to be on track to avoid the pitfalls of the less-than-stellar Iron Man 2.

The first Iron Man sequel was definitely a bloated mess, weighted down by clunky exposition scenes introducing The Avengers’ S.H.I.E.L.D. organization and a mopey and directionless Tony Stark.

Iron Man 2′s screenplay was also a structural nightmare, as after an explosive confrontation introducing Mickey Rourke’s villainous character Whiplash, the filmmakers literally sequestered him for the film’s entire second act by dumping him in a lab where he proceeds to build his own armoured suits with a cockatoo.

Seriously the extent of his characterization.  That he loved his pet bird.

From the looks of the latest Iron Man 3 trailer, Ben Kingsley’s mysterious and tactically-shrewd terrorist The Mandarin is already volumes more complex and interesting than Rourke’s Whiplash.

Toss in a ton of fantastical tech and a spectacular mid-air Air Force One bombing that sends Iron Man scrambling to save dozens of free-falling government officials and you have yourself a pretty solid peek at an Iron Man sequel that looks as if it will live up to and possibly eclipse the original film.

Despite currently being incarcerated for tax evasion, it looks like Wesley Snipes is actually going to have a movie come out this year.  It was filmed back in 2006 and until now has languished in post-production hell, but for whatever reason, this stinking turd is being released now while Snipes is still serving time.

Unfortunately for Snipes that film, Gallowwalkers, looks even less appealing than the time he played a ridiculously awful and over-the-top transvestite in To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar.

Never forget.

I mean, what the hell happened to this guy?  He used to be a big deal.  He had huge hits like Major League, White Men Can’t Jump, Demolition Man and U.S. Marshals.  And he almost single-handedly started the comic book invasion on Hollywood by starring in the incredibly lucrative Blade trilogy.

A pretty plum gig considering 90% of his job was just scowling in leather.

After the last Blade movie Snipes’ big screen roles dried up pretty fast, and rather than being patient and taking some supporting work he opted for starring in a slew of shitty direct-to-DVD flicks instead.

Hard Luck indeed if you’re co-headlining movies with Mario Van Peebles.

It also didn’t help things that he became known as a notorious prick whose dickish behaviour burned a lot of bridges and left people not wanting to work with him.  In fact, Snipes was such an insufferable asshole he once tried to strangle his director on set.

Clearly Snipes’ ego is what ultimately led to his downfall, as the arrogant bastard thought he was above paying taxes like everyone else.  Of course, this makes watching the terrible trailer for Gallowwalkers even more distasteful, as seeing Snipes scowl and mutter his lines while decapitating zombies in the desert is a sad reminder that the guy actually used to make decent flicks and showcase some legitimate talent.

Ever wonder where your missing socks go?  I do, and from now on I’ll automatically assume its the dirty work of a highly-motivated miniature commando squad.

I’m also going to envision that this snot-nosed little runt is their leader.

The music video Kittens On The Beat by Corrider Digital (featuring the song “Wildside” by Savant) uses this diminutive sock-stealing soldier idea as its premise, while also showcasing two fierce yet cuddly kittens kicking ass and defending their owner’s foot garb honour.  We should all have pets this valiant.