A new full length trailer for the upcoming Total Recall remake has been released and it includes everything that made the original great. Kick-ass action, a sympathetic protagonist suffering a mind-bending identity crisis, a badass sleeper agent wife, a rebel resistance, and an awesomely megalomaniacal villain.
As opposed to awfully megalomaniacal.
In fact, one can easily make the case that from the looks of the new trailer, every one of those elements looks light years better than what was in the original 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger film, which, let’s face it, despite being groundbreaking at the time remains a dated and super cheesy sci-fi action flick.
I’m pretty sure that’s not CGI.
While it’s exciting that today’s movie magic has advanced to a level that allows filmmakers to truly do justice to a special FX heavy sci-fi opus like Total Recall, it pales in comparison to the thrilling confirmation that the three-breasted hooker character from the first film will make an appearance in the remake.
Three. F**king. Boobs.
Now in the remake the entire story takes place on Earth, which means unlike the tramp with the trifecta of tatas in the original, the new three-hootered harlot will no longer be a space hooker, just a regular hooker.
But considering that the new minx with multiple mammaries is much more attractive than the butterfaced boobzilla from the 1990 film, I’m willing to let it slide.
He’s probably staring three times as long as he normally would.
Total Boobcall Recall opens on August 3rd.