Since last week I took a look at the fall TV season’s best new show, it seemed only fitting that I followed that up with my thoughts on its worst.  Plus, if I had to sit through one more episode of Whitney in order for me to be able to say that I wrote an informed blog entry I was LITERALLY going to put a cigarette out in my right eye.

Chris Traeger knows what I’m talking about.

There are many reasons why Whitney is a gigantic pile of crap that epitomizes everything that is wrong with the television industry.  Here are just a few of those reasons:

1)     IT’S A REGRESSIVE SITCOM

Whitney Cummings may think that her self-styled sitcom is hip and modern, but it really is anything but.  The structure of the show and its fundamental concept (Whitney is neurotic and quirky but still adorable!) is so tired and dated that you can actually see an episode’s coming plot developments minutes into the program.

You know your show sucks when Homeboys In Outer Space is still more original than what you’re doing 15 years later.

I’m not kidding, Whitney is down right archaic.  From its use of the dying three camera format to its ridiculously try-hard “live studio audience,” Whitney has all the requisites for a sitcom from the 70′s.

Except for an awesome, slightly-homophobic landlord.

Actually, when you compare them, Three’s Company holds up extremely well and comes off as far more progressive (mixed gender roommates, hyper-sexuality, acceptance of homosexuality) when compared to Whitney, which so far has been solely about one annoying woman’s insipid neuroses (a compulsive need to spice up her love life, a compulsive need to recreate a first date, a compulsive need to win stupid contests against her romantic parter).

Seriously, even George Costanza wouldn’t date this chick.

2)     THE JOKES ARE HORRIBLE

Whitney is quite possibly the most poorly written show of the last decade.  And that’s really saying something.

Especially considering that in 2005 FOX produced a “comedy” with Pamela Anderson about books and boobs.

The fact that Whitney Cummings wrote the first three episodes of her sitcom herself is a strong indicator that while some may consider her to be a somewhat humorous stand-up, her comedic stylings simply do not translate to the world of scripted television.

She must think that continually posing with her mouth open makes everything funnier.

Think I’m exaggerating?  Here are a couple of examples of the quality of jokes and zingers from Whitney episodes that Whitney Cummings has written herself:

From the episode “First Date:”

(Upon entering a restaurant, Whitney’s boyfriend says the following to his buddy)

WHITNEY’S BOYFRIEND

“No way this place has better burgers than Greasy Rick’s.”

BUDDY

“Yeah, but this place has one hundred percent less band-aids in their meat.”

Want worse?  Here you go.

From the same episode:

(Whitney’s boyfriend speaking to a waiter, ordering Whitney dinner after she’s been annoying him)

WHITNEY’S BOYFRIEND

Do you have any chicken in an anti-psychotic sauce?

Seriously, Whitney Cummings?  That’s the best you can come up with?  Obtuse and bizarre non-sequiturs about things that don’t happen or exist in real life?

Say what you will about Carrot Top, but at least his stupid f***ing props have some logic to them.

3)     THE SHOW IS A VANITY PROJECT FOR WHITNEY CUMMINGS

This is by far and away Whitney’s most egregious and irritating blunder.  NBC went into business with Cummings because they recognized that talented or not, she was a comedy star on the rise.

Cummings had made a name for herself on the stand up circuit, not so much because she was side-splittingly hilarious but more because she became known as that kinda-funny-mildly-attractive girl.

Of course as far as female stand up comics go she’s pretty much a supermodel.

Cummings also made a name for herself as that chick from the Comedy Central Roasts, particularly for the time she told Pamela Anderson that instead of having unprotected sex with Brett Michaels, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock she may as well have just “drank a vat of Magic Johnson’s blood.”

Pretty ballsy words for a cougar-esque looking woman in her forties.  Except she’s 29.  Seriously.

Regardless, whatever Cummings did it was enough to impress the geniuses over at NBC and get herself her own show.  So what was the first thing she did with that opportunity?

She sexualized herself.

Yep, Whitney Cummings wrote a pilot that for the bulk of the episode featured her dressed up in a sex shop nurse’s uniform (for a very stupid reason).  She followed that up with episodes where she slutted it up again by wearing lingerie to pick up her mail and dancing sexy.  And let me remind you that at this point only four episodes have aired.

For someone who presents herself as a strong, bold and edgy female comic, Whitney Cummings sure seems to be enjoying using NBC’s Thursday night comedy line up as a platform to showcase her sex appeal.

Unless you consider Whitney’s boyfriend knocking himself out while taking off his pants groundbreaking comedy.

Here’s what I find most interesting:

After being given carte blanche by NBC, and after creating a sitcom designed to feature her as some sort of sarcastic sexpot, creator, star and executive producer Whitney Cummings handpicked actor / comedian Chris D’Elia to play her boyfriend on the show.

What does this say about Whitney Cummings?  Hollywood is teeming with gorgeous, hunky aspiring actors who would kill to share screen time and sex it up with her on camera yet she selects the skeeviest looking douchebag she can find to play the man of her dreams?

I mean, come on.  The guy looks like he has fleas.

I’m not even saying that actor Chris D’Elia is a bad looking guy, but if you had your own show and decided to make it about how cute and sexy you are wouldn’t you want to star opposite a person who didn’t look like they had just fought off a bunch of rats in order to eat a greasy taco out of a dumpster?

A shower, shave and a haircut really does go a long way.

4)     THE ENTIRE CAST SUCKS

Whitney is just terrible, from its concept to its writing to its cast — each and every last one of them.

Annoying.

Annoying and narcissistic.

Annoying and relishes playing a man-hungry cougar stereotype.

Should have stayed on 30 Rock.

90% of his job is looking scuzzy while exclaiming “Whit!” and smirking.

Put his career as an ice cream truck driver on hold to pursue acting.

Whitney airs Thursday nights at 9:30 on NBC.  Don’t watch it.


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  1. lynda says:

    I TOTALLY AGREE!!! I tried to watch an episode and couldn’t make it to the end before I switched channels.

    • Storm says:

      I feel your pain, Lynda!

    • Cat says:

      i couldn’t disagree more with this me and my boyfriend love this show in fact most of the people i have spoken to love it. maybe its a British thing but over on Comedy Central its gone down a hit if you don’t like it don’t watch it end of but don’t go making it you ambition to slag it off just change the channel

      • Storm says:

        Hey Cat,

        To each their own. Glad you’ve found a show you like, even though I’d rather put a cigarette out in my eye than watch another minute of this garbage.

        Rest assured that I don’t like it and haven’t watched it since this post!

        Cheers,

        Storm

  2. Jcat says:

    Good article – show sucks.

  3. marcie says:

    What do I hate most about this show? How about:

    Whitney herself – vapid, shrieking shrew – as funny as cancer

    The Boyfriend – please, please, please someone throw this guy in a shower – the greasy hair makes me gag

    Laugh Track – live studio audience? Yeah…right. Laugh tracks belong in the 50s. They are like nails on chalkboards

    All Other Characters – stupid, cliched stereotypes who you would kill after spending 5 minutes with them

    • Storm says:

      Hey Marcie,

      You nailed it! “Vapid shrieking shrew” is a perfect description of Whitney’s character. And I’m glad I’m not the only one bothered by her boyfriend’s hygiene!

  4. crazylegs99 says:

    Holy hell dude!

    It’s good to know that my incessant rants about this pile of manure they call a show aren’t the only ones out there.

    Your post concisely summed up just how sucky and nauseating this show is.
    Spread the word. Whitney needs to go back to her home planet, and she needs to take that walking hairball (Chris whathisname) with her.

  5. mike j says:

    this show is f****ing gross. far worse than outsourced.

  6. Storm says:

    I hear ya, Mike. Even though it was terrible, Outsourced looks like a decent show when compared to this turd!

  7. vendetta says:

    dont like it..dont watch it..jokes dont portrait to you as some of us do..its one of fewest shows i watch on tv thats actually funny…glee and all these other crappy shows are just retarted..for the younger crowd i guess..but whitney hits my spot ooh soo gently and funny,,if you really got some funnier jokes and ideas..send them to nbc :)

    • rick says:

      My word you must really dull if you think this is funny ! what else do you like? take the i live in Asia and get 4 crppy channels , i don’t watch whitney because it is toilet. I would find it more interesting watching the tree outside grow. problem is Universal channel plays 5 minutes of program followed by 7 minutes of a how fantastic it is compilation of it’s programs, which typicall includes at least two previews of toilet like Whitney, Outsourced and the Office. Out of 10 i would give whitney F all.

      • wat says:

        Im with you, but how the fuck can you consider The Office toilet!? Sure it’s been quite bad sense Steve Carell left but before that, man it was the shit.

  8. jimbob says:

    I happen to Love her show. We just watched 10 in a row and laughed our asses off, and even cried a little. Sorry if you don’t get it. Very few shows have caused so many laugh out loud moments. In fact you mention one above where she was dressed as the sexy nurse. That entire sequence was not only sexy as hell but fucking funny as hell. You’re obviously a humorless whiner with Nothing to do.

  9. Storm says:

    Hey Jimbob,

    Thanks for the feedback!

    Wow, you watched 10 episodes in a row? Boy, if I did that I would cry a little too! (although probably for a different reason)

    I’m afraid we’ll have to agree to disagree about Whitney causing laugh out loud moments, unless we’re counting the ridiculous “live studio audience” laugh track on the show.

    I have a theory that Whitney producers leak nitrous oxide into their studio during filming, which explains why their audience laughs so hard at everything that I’m pretty sure they’d find footage of Leni Riefenstahl’s 1935 Nazi propaganda film Triumph of the Will hilarious.

    Personally, I prefer my comedy to be intelligent, original and edgy as opposed to being a banal vanity project, which is why I find shows like Arrested Development or another NBC show Community to be vastly superior to Whitney.

    You definitely got me on being a “humourless whiner with nothing to do” though, my firefighter buddies call me that all the time so you’re in good company there!

    Cheers,

    Storm

  10. [...] the people responsible for NBC programming are the same geniuses who just renewed one of the worst sitcoms in years and fired the talented Conan O’Brien in order to keep an unfunny fat-headed [...]

  11. Whitney Fan says:

    I love the show! I found whitney and her boyfriend very romantic, and hilarious! I feel like maybe you are just not the target audience?

  12. ana says:

    actually chris d’elia is her real life boyfriend and fellow “standup comic” thats why she picked him.

  13. Storm says:

    Hi Ana,

    I guess if that’s true then I have to add yet another reason to why this show stinks!

  14. [...] critiques makes me think of some of the “New York Times” theatre critics: “Why NBC’s Whitney is the absolute worst TV show in years.”  Really? “One of the worst” and “epitomizes everything wrong with the TV [...]

  15. jake says:

    I’ve been watching this unfunny twat skirting the edges of fame like a starving mongrel for years now, and had hoped she’d finally just dry up and blow away. Sadly, thanks to a world of mediocre entertainment and this bitch’s relentless clawing at it, she’s finally managed to get her way–thanks apparently to begging all of her showbiz friends to throw her a bone (Chelsea Handler, public enemy #1 in this regard).
    Simpletons should be ashamed that they’d admit that this worthless trash is something they find “very funny!” or “so hysterical!”
    Maybe the failure of these new crappy vanity efforts will finally put a stake through her dreadfully unfunny heart.

    • Storm says:

      Hey Jake,

      I’d be lying if I said your colourful description of Whitney Cummings rise to fame didn’t make me laugh. And it sounds like I’m not the only one frustrated that shows like “Whitney” are getting made.

      Sadly, with NBC’s new corporate mandate for sitcoms to have broader appeal, I’m afraid we can expect a lot more crud like this to come our way.

  16. Russ says:

    I hope the show runs forever, just because of the pain it seems to be causing you guys.

  17. [...] if my Friday wasn’t great enough with news that Parks & Recreation has been renewed and cacophonous vanity project and horrendous sitcom Whitney has been cancelled — now comes word that the Fox network is talks with Kiefer Sutherland [...]

  18. [...] give the skeezy douche from Whitney his own show.  Genius [...]

  19. They never dated says:

    Chris D’elia and Whitney Cummings have never dated each other and likely never will.

  20. o303o3b says:

    The red head sucks shoe polish…Whitney Cummings just sucks…

  21. Tha Troof says:

    ABSOLUTELY the WORST show I have ever seen. Cummings is a complete no-talent.

  22. brokennarcissist says:

    Thank you, that was beautiful

  23. James Seabolt says:

    Chelsea Handler has convinced her that she is funny. Those two are the only ones who may think so. I cringe when she’s on Chelsea Lately.